Ants!

I found myself on my hands and knees down on the kitchen floor, scrubbing the tiles and the baseboards furiously. It was at this moment that it all became clear: I am my mother.

Let me back up a bit and explain.

I had just arrived home from a long day at work, and I was perusing the kitchen for tonight’s dinner, when my world came crashing in: ANTS! Not just your average, run of the mill picnic ants. Tiny, translucent, orange, gnat-like creatures, crawling all over the counter, the sink, the wall, the cupboard.... in my FOOD!

Somehow these bastards had worked their way into my grocery cupboard (luckily, my roommate A’s cupboards are currently untainted).

When something like this usually happens, I tend to pick up my phone and call home. My mom always knows what to do with these sorts of things. However, my parents were vacationing in Jamaica which made mom unavailable to help me.

“Don’t Panic!” I told myself... “What would Donna do?”

Without hesitation I reached for the rubber gloves and the Javex, proceeded to clean every inch of the cupboard including all of its contents. I also managed to purge at least one full cupboard’s worth of crap while doing it. Hooray!

It was at this time that my roommate A came home. A is a scientist – she completely understood what I was doing. Without missing a beat, she grabbed the gloves and the bleach and got to work on the bottom cupboards.

I must have blacked out, because the next thing I remember is working furiously on the kitchen floor which I had decided was unacceptable.

Donna still has this idea that I am a complete slob – no matter how old I get I will always be that 16 year-old that never cleaned her room. Luckily, A obtained photographic evidence of my anal cleaning spree.

Donna should be proud!